If you don’t like something about yourself, instead of just thinking about it and jotting it down on your next New Year’s Resolutions list, change it. Immediately.

Do something about it. It’ll make you feel much more optimistic, and it’ll lift a huge weight off your shoulders.

So I sent out all my Christmas cards and it costed me around $25 dollars just because some of them were outside the country and one was international. Holy..

My bank account says $1.70 right now, and my credit card bill says over $50. I have a $300 cheque in my purse though. I should really go and deposit it..

Something I lack when it comes to the BF. I go out  all the time, and sometimes it’s alone with a guy, but then when my BF goes out with all her friends and a certain female, I get really upset and angry, and well… that isn’t fair.

I’m aware of it, and I know it isn’t fair for me to get upset when he doesn’t, but I can’t help it. I didn’t say anything this time, but seriously. He’s going out, and he’s making time for them but he doesn’t make time for me. He’s giving himself a break for all of Friday to go hang out with them and drink, but when we’re talking, he complains about all the readings he needs to do.

That’s the basis of why I get upset.

My boss at my ‘online’ job hasn’t responded in nearly two weeks. & I haven’t been paid in a month, so I put all my work on hold. I’m pretty pissed off, especially since he snapped at me for taking 4 days to respond to an email. Hello, I had food poisoning.

On another note, I bought drawer organizers, and I’m excited to organize all my makeup with it. I also found a small box perfect to ship to the BF for Christmas.

And, I’ve been getting all excited (and have been since I bought the app) over my disposable camera. It’s an app from the makers of Hipstagram, and I just love the filters and the novelty of not being able to see your photos until you finish the roll.

Time to go clean my room.

I’m sitting here after a long day of work, and getting inspired by Jenn Im on YouTube. Aside from working 7.5 hours, and spending $100 on both my grandma and I (which I hope I’m getting reimbursed from my Dad), I’m just blah.

My boyfriend is busy studying, so I need to be quiet, and I have so much laundry to do but I don’t wanna do it.

I’ve also decided to travel next year to Vegas/LA because I want to. I also need to hop on that iMac/Macbook Pro bandwagon soon, because yeah. Vanity/motivation/inspiration/stalker reasons… not really the stalker one though. I just felt like saying that.

I’m so tired of so many things.

Scratch that. I now have 6 candidates chosen for Christmas cards. Why are they all guys? I’d like to send some to girls but for some reason, I feel like they tend to stray away from me.

Oh well. I feel cheery. One guy said he’d even pay me via Paypal for the postage. He’s very considerate. I didn’t take it, of course. What’s $1-5 to spread my happiness? Nada. But the world does need more people like that. I dunno. I just thought it was a really nice gesture. I’ll have to remember to mention something about that in his card…

I put out an announcement on Facebook and my main Tumblr asking for people who wanted Christmas cards because I want to spread the Christmas cheer.

Last year, I had about 32 people ask for one and I only sent out like 5. This year, I’m ready to send out at least 20, and there’s only like 5 people that want one.

Lonely bunny.

I went shopping and spent nearly $300. Yikes.

I finally found that “Why I Love You” book though, so I’m really excited to fill it out. I realized it’s not really a ‘yearly’ thing but rather something you can fill out anytime.

I am however going to save it for our 3-year anniversary as opposed to this Christmas because I would like to express myself a little more and add little notes and margins spontaneously throughout the book.

I didn’t have any cigarettes today. That made it really hard for me to control my anger and frustrations. Especially since my sisters and I have been bumping heads throughout the day. I get along with them 90% of the time, but it doesn’t take much to make me really upset or angry.

My two sisters’ Christmas gifts are finally complete, and so I just need to focus on something for my Dad (I got part of it today), my Mom, and my Goddaughter (I can’t even remember how old she is, so it’s gonna be kinda hard shopping for her).

I’ve been thinking about what I should get for my boyfriend. I know - you don’t have to get him anything, why is Christmas all about giving presents? Materialism this, superficial that - whatever. I want to get him something.

I once gave a [love] poetry book to my exboyfriend and customized it with my own margins and side notes, throwing in a photo of us here and there. I don’t want to do the same thing though.

Our first Christmas, I gave him a DVD of my “A Day In the Life of…” Because we’re in a long-distance relationship, and since (at the time) he had never seen the city I live in, I thought it would be nice to share with him what I do and see on a day-to-day basis. I showed him my social, work, school, and home life.

I don’t know if I can out-do myself this time. That’s pretty much as thoughtful as I get.

I did want to do something like the “Why I love you” annual book, but I didn’t get to start that so obvs. it’s not the same if I start it now. I’ll do that for next year, along with the 5-year one-line-a-day book.

-_- help. Brain, think of something.

I’ve decided to start a personal Tumblr. I used to have a Livejournal, until I realized people from it were starting to cross websites, and invade my life.

Long story short, the entire purpose of me starting an online personal blog (without my personal information) is to reach out for help, advice, and friendship. Not to have someone know my crisis, and act on it without my permission or knowledge.

I just need an outlet for my words.

I should mention my ‘username’ was inspired from a manga I read today called Koko No Iru Yo! but the ‘username’ the male pro. used was ‘blackrabbit’ and with a name so plain and simple, I knew it was impossible that it wasn’t already being used. Shame.